Why is THE ROGER the GOAT? – asks Agassi the Pigeon-Toed

The toughest challenge I face, as I sit down to right this article, is how does one go about explaining the most obvious and certain things in life. As the challenge level goes, this question is in the same league as “How does 2 and 2 equal 4”. “Why do you think China is closer to New York than the moon, or the sun or even one of the millions stars that we can see with our eyes in the dark night sky”. It can be quite a Herculean task to explain the very obvious things to people who cannot see the obvious for one reason or the other. The task becomes even more gigantic when the said people refuse to open their minds and eyes to see the truth.

With this challenge before me, I take a satirical look at Andre’s storm-setting and headline-generating comment about the GOAT discussion. Please bear in mind Agassi is one of my favorite tennis players and I regard him as a player who is as talented at shot-making as Federer is – only the ground strokes, mind you. Please read the article with an open mind a healthy sense of humour.

Why is Roger Federer the Greatest tennis player Of All Time? The straightforward answer is that he owns the most coveted record in our sport – the total Grand Slam count. 17 is the number in case you have been in a coma and have not followed the rumblings in the tennis world over the past 10 years. YAWN, you say.

Agassi the Pigeon-Toed says “Seventeen, shmeventeen. Rafa has 13 and he owns THE ROGER, no?”, running his hand over his gleaning bald head and doing his best imitation of the King of Clay.

SC: Hello Agassi the Pigeon-Toed [APT], are you referring to the 21-10 head-to-head between you and THE ROGER? I like how you HUMBLY put that as owning. I have to be the bearer of painful news APT, but no one gets to own anyone for winning 21 matches, definitely not outside Crystal-Meth nation and most definitely no one can own THE ROGER. You know that he makes upward of 75 million Washingtons a year, yes?

APT says ” Yes, I am aware. What about Davis Cup and Olympic Gold? They do matter and THE ROGER doesn’t have them, no?”

SC: Is it the same Davis Cup that you avoided playing later in 90s when you started dominating the tour, with any sense of credibility, (for the very 1st time in your career) Agassi?  Do you realise Federer plays more Davis Cup matches per tie than Nadal does? Federer, regularly travels across the globe to help Switzerland win ties abroad. Could you please tell us when last  Nadal played for Spain outside Europe in Davis Cup? You also realise Spain has won Davis cups with or without Nadal playing for them, yes?

APT says ” Oh I did not know that. I really don’t care, I just want to prop up Nadal ahead of that guy who always used to beat me – Pete-I am-not Cheap-Sampras. Nadal and I have Olympic Gold Medals, makes us better than the other two.”

SC: Now things make more sense APT! Good to see you keep trying to get one across Pete, any which way. We should make your rivalry the GOAT rivalry of all time. Let us get talking on the Olympic Gold Medal and its relevance. Why is Olympics, an event for amateurs, important in Tennis, a professional sport?

Is it the ranking points? I am not sure, ATP awards it 750 points which comes to less than 200 points a year. To put things in perspective, Halle/Queens winner gets 250 points. Basel/Barcelona winner gets 500 points.

Is it the glory of an Olympic medal? In that case Roger has 1 Gold and 1 Silver Medal. Are you sure it is the glory of an Olympic medal, Agassi? Roger was one of the factors in bringing credibility to Olympics as a tennis event. He has played in 4 Olympic games, 3 of them as No.1. You remember your ranking in 1996? Or the names of the Olympic Champions since 1988 when Tennis was introduced into Olympics?

Why is Olympic Gold Medal in singles more important the World Tour Finals, which the ATP awards 1500 points for and the top 8 players of the year participate in, APT? Do you, dear tennis fans, understand why Olympics/Davis Cup is a more important tennis tournament than the World Tour Finals? Please use the comments below to let us know your thoughts.


9 thoughts on “Why is THE ROGER the GOAT? – asks Agassi the Pigeon-Toed

  1. Haha! Great effort and a very different and funny way of looking at the whole GOAT debate.

    I almost spewed out the water I was drinking, when I read “Agassi the Pigeon Toed”…. Crystal Meth Nation…

    Thanks for the laughs

  2. “Rafa the Humble Bee” – That is a good one.

    I think the WTF is a much more important tournament than the Olympics/Davis Cup. There must be a good reason the ATP awards it the most no. of points after the 4 Grand Slams.

    Great write-up on the whole.

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