Our Captain of the Tennis Galaxy, Ranjit Eswaran takes a new and interesting look at the Australian Open, mixing some popular Hollywood Movie plots to predict how the Happy Slam’s 2014 version will unravel!

Men’s: A few good men [1]

Bernard Tomic: Rafael Nadal, are you prepared for the match?

Others from fab 4: Rafa, you don’t have to answer that question.

Rafa: I will answer that question. You want answers.

Tomic: I want the truth.

Rafa: YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH. Son, we live in a world that has slow courts. These courts have to be made faster for any others to stand a chance. Who is going to do it? You? You, Del Potro? I am greater than you can possibly imagine. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know. Those slow courts, while tragic, possibly will help break records. My presence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, helps break records. I would rather; you just show up and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you compete with me and win. Either way, I don’t give a damn what you or the crowd which is going to support you are entitled to.

Well, I don’t have to say more. Rafa in my opinion will steam roll Tomic, Monfils, Nishikori and reach quarters.  He has been in prime form and only a debilitating injury can stop him from reaching the quarters.

Del Potro: Tomic, Monfils or Nishikori were supposed to beat Rafa. I just beat Raonic. What did I do wrong? I did nothing wrong.

Rafa: Yeah you did. Some injury always shows up and you are not consistent. You are supposed to fight with me. (Evil chuckle).

My prediction on the first semi-finalist is Rafa.

In Murray’s quarter, I predict an upset with Phillip Kohlschreiber upsetting American Isner as he has the game and has the draws that can take him up to facing Murray in the pre quarters.  Federer vs Tsonga would be my prediction on the pre-quarters. A classic Federer vs Murray for quarters is nicely set up.

Federer: Murray and Brits live in the same dreamworld. It doesn’t matter what they believe in, it only matters how he can play. So please, don’t tell me how I should play or not play. I KNOW THE GAME [2].

Murray: You are old and even if the courts become faster, you cant win. You are nothing but history. Live with that.

I would love to see such a press conference. In my opinion, if Murray’s back can withstand the trials and tribulations, he will compete with Federer who looked nonchalant against Hewitt but Federer did make the finals at Brisbane. My second semi-finalist would be Federer.

Rafa has a mental and physical advantage over Federer though I would hate to admit that but in my mind Rafa will make it to the finals.

In the bottom half I think Berdych vs Ferrer and Djokovic vs Wawrinka would be the quarters with Tommy Haas not making beyond the second or third round. I think Berdych will meet Nole in the semifinals.

Nole: I strenuously object? Is that how it works?

Berdych: I STRENUOUSLY object. Somebody should have beaten this Djoker.

Nole: Oh well, if you strenuously object then I should take some time to reconsider. (Evil chuckle).

So, Nole vs Berdych is a no brainer for me. I think Nole will be in much better mental shape and in much better physical shape going in to the finals.

My prediction for finals is a Nole vs Rafa which might be predictably boring but it looks very much that way. The winner prediction is overwhelmingly the good man from Serbia for me.

Upset Prediction( a second prediction, everybody is allowed two chances in life I suppose):

Del Potro vs Murray and Djoker vs Ferrer semifinals with Djoker vs Del Potro finals and again the good man from Serbia winning it.

[1] Plot heavily borrowed from the movie A Few Good Men

[2] Federer’s knowledge: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ofNg0y8w60

Women’s predictions:

V for Vendetta [3]

Vika(V): [Sloane and Radawanska pull out their rackets]  I can assure you I mean no harm.

Sloane and Radawanska: Well we can see that.

V: Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian, cast VIKA-riously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate.

Serena: Damn girl that’s too many Vs. Defiant to the end, huh? You won’t cry , will you? You’re not afraid of defeat. You’re like me.

Yeah I predict V to coast to semifinals setting up a clash against Sharapova. In the top half I predict Serena to coast to semi-finals setting up a clash against Li Na.

Maria:  You have come to defeat me haven’t you?

V: Yes.

Maria: Thank God. I don’t have to face Serena.

My prediction for the finals: V vs Serena and my winner prediction is V.

Upset Prediction:

V vs Jankovic, Serena vs Kvitova and finals: Serena vs V and the winner would be V.

V: There is no certainty-only Vika-tory(Victory).

 [3] Plot heavily borrowed from the movie V for Vendetta.

-Ranjit Eswaran [Ranjit Eswaran is the captain of the Tennis Galaxy at Sportz Cosmos. You can contact him at our gmail address: sportzcosmos]