“When you look at the dark side, careful you must be. For the dark side looks back.” – Master Yoda
The English cricket team would do well to mull on Yoda’s thought provoking statement as they embark on their T20 world cup campaign. They have a record of 3 wins, 7 losses in their last ten T20 matches outside of England. They sent the career of their best batsman into oblivion.
Meanwhile in a Galaxy not so far away :
Giles: The council is confident in its decision, Alastair.
Alastair: The boy has exceptional skills.
Alastair: But he still has much to learn, coach. His abilities have made him… well arrogant.
Giles: Yes. Yes. A notable error among cricketers. Too sure of themselves they are. Not an exception to the aged and the experienced.
KP: You wanna take me to Bangladesh?
[Giles executes the Jedi Mind Trick]
Giles: You don’t want to go to Bangladesh.
KP: Ah, I don’t want to go to Bangladesh.
Giles: You want to go home and rethink your life.
KP: I want to go home and rethink my life.
Kevin Pietersen @KP24
Phone just rang and it was a private number (excited)…answered it and it was my mum! She said – ‘I’d pick you, darling’.. Grrrrr!
Back in the Galaxy:
Stuart Broad: Why do I get the feeling you’re going to be the death of me?
Luke Wright: Don’t say that Stuart… You’re the closest thing I have to a friend… I love you. I don’t want to cause you pain.
Stuart Broad: Then why don’t you score?
Luke Wright: I try, Stuart.
Giles: Do or do not. There is no try.
Luke Wright now holds the dubious record of highest number of zeros in T20 internationals. His career reads:
Stuart Broad has no option but to select him for his usefulness as a part time bowler and paradoxically being the highest scorer for England tied with the current opener Alex Hales at 99. The bench strength just isn’t inspiring; it probably is time for England to import exciting talent.
The English think tank seems severely out of ideas to repeat the 2010 World Cup performance. The two best batsmen at this time who seem to put up any semblance of a fight for the English are:
Both these players have hardly inspired awe when facing spin friendly conditions. In all probabilities Bangladesh would be the fifth team along with the English, Lankans, S Africans and the Black Caps in Group 1. With every one of this team possessing a player who can turn the tide with bat or with the ball in an over, the English have a very serious competition to proceed to the knock out stage.
If Broad isn’t fit for the World Cup, the rest of the team would be made up with Lumb, MM Ali/Ben Stoakes/, Morgan(stand in captain if Broad is out), the useful Bopara, Bresnan, Tredwell, Dernbach and Perry. SportzCosmos feels Perry would be the logical choice in Bangladeshi conditions.
Giles: Victory? Victory you say? Paulie, not victory. The shroud of the dark side has fallen. Begun the World Cup war has.
Collingwood: It doesn’t have to be that way. We could keep it a secret.
Stuart Broad: We’d be living a lie. One we couldn’t keep, even if we wanted to. I couldn’t do that. Could you, Paulie? Could you live like that?
Morgan: The party’s over.
Sportzcosmos predicts the English will finish last in their group.
Stuart Broad: The force isn’t with us coach Giles.
 The writer is a huge fan of Star Wars and this preview has heavily borrowed its wisdom.